Two weeks ago I couldn't fall asleep til 4 am. The next night it continued. And the next. For 12 nights in a row. At first I took Benedryl and Unisom to try and sleep. But I was just really groggy and still awake. So after 4 nights of 2-3 hours of sleep I saw a doctor who just prescribed Ambien. It made me fall asleep for 3-4 hours without a REM cycle, then I would wake up and be wide awake at about 2 am. So I then took the natural route and got homeopathic drops, chamomile tea, did yoga, learned some meditation techniques, rubbed lavender oil on my feet, took Melatonin... nothing. It was so frustrating. I read, I lied awake, I tossed and turned. Miserable. Completely miserable. Then I heard acupuncture was helpful so I started that.
I have a small background in Chinese medicine from taking acupressure and Shiatsu in massage school. Not my favorite classes, but I really enjoyed the Eastern paradigms. I knew that everyone has both yin (the feminine) and yang (the masculine) energy. I knew that in Eastern medicine, when qi (or chi, which means life energy) is out of balance, physical symptoms appear. I knew that there are energetic channels through the body that run through specific organs and correlate to both an emotional component and a component of nature in the earth. I didn't connect too well with this paradigm because it isn't as concrete as the Western paradigm of physiology and hard measurable science. As I went to acupuncture I was seriously blown away with how much the practitioner picked up on and how thorough our consult was. At the doctor's office, she asked me about my stress level and my general health and concluded that I would take some prescriptions and if that didn't help, research showed that cognitive behavioral therapy might help. It was all very evidence-based practice. Don't get me wrong. That absolutely has a time and a place. If I had a premie baby, I would definitely want a physician with evidence-based practice or if I was getting invasive surgery... But since no one could figure out what was wrong with me, I was desperate to try anything.
During the consult he asked me thorough questions about my health in the last year. Did I generally run hot or cold? Did I feel tired through the day but wired at the same time? How has nursing been? What is my schedule like? How was my pregnancy and delivery? He then pointed out that it sounded like my yin energy was deficient. Yin is the compliment to yang that is all about resting, dark, cold, intuitive, night time, moon, flowing, inward, etc. After a year of pregnancy, delivery and baby, my yin energy was depleted. I was in a constant state of vigilance with nursing, being up all night, organizing my life with work and Justin's crazy schedule, trying to keep our lives together, that I hadn't spent any time nourishing the part of me that needs to rest. In Western terms, basically my adrenal glands were shot and anxiety had taken over so that my parasympathetic system was not working as it should. So at night, instead of calming my mind and resting, all I could do was lie there as my cortisol and epinephrine levels weren't regulating correctly. So for the past 3 days I have focused all my energy on nourishing myself to replenish the yin that is deficient. I believe that by doing this, my hormones will balance themselves out.
For anyone that still doesn't understand... yin energy is an essential part of your life. You spend most of the day exuding yang. You work, organize, clean, basically.... DO things. You rise with the sun (also a yang component of nature) and work/play all day. But during the day and night your body needs to rest, reflect, meditate, etc. It's both a physiological and emotional need. I had not nourished that side of me. As a result, my yang energy was normal but yin was depleted. The physical symptoms were manifesting as being too hot all the time (very unusual for me), having hot flashes, feeling the constant need to plan, make lists, do things, having a racing mind, and the inability to relax and sleep, even with powerful medications. Three days ago I decided to remedy this. I have been resting. I watched Avatar the last Airbender (because the Eastern paradigm is speaking loudly to me at this time), wrote, read, reflected, meditated, tried to nap, etc. I have also been consuming yin foods. This means foods that are super nourishing, moisture dense, high in calories, etc. (Foods like bananas, avocados, tofu, miso, potatoes, blackberries, sesame seeds, etc) I'm limiting how much I actually DO and have been trying to just BE. It's been an amazing shift. The more I slow down, the more tired and less wired I feel. And, magically, I have began to sleep. The first night, 10 hours, the second, 8 hours. I took Unisom, which I took last week without results, and this time it worked. I'm beginning to sleep. It's been amazing.
The point behind this post is my journey in finding healing. The other is me sharing my successful experience with a holistic approach. Would it work for everyone? Probably not. But it's just another thing to think about. When your body is out of balance and you are searching for answers, sometimes it's not about a cure-all drug from a doctor. (And sometimes it is.) Sometimes it's a journey to find what works best for you. The acupuncture has been really transformative for me. Not just because it's helping my insomnia. But because it has changed the way I think day-to-day about my life and health. Balance in all things. Yin and yang. I need to laugh and cry. To work and rest. To do and be. Right now I'm focusing on the being. So if you come over, just know my house isn't very pretty right now and the projects are on hold. We are in a state of reflection, meditation, an inward journey. There was a great episode in Avatar the last Airbender about this. (Yes, I watch anime. It's amazing and you should watch it too.) The bad guy finds the spirits of the moon and ocean. They represent yin and yang. The moon pulls the tide of the ocean so there is a push/pull relationship. The Avatar tries to save the spirit but the bad guy kills the moon spirit and everything goes dark and out of balance. The moon spirit is saved in the end, but it made me think about my own balance in life. We so much value accomplishment and success. Of course there is a time for it. We also feel like we must give and give and give. This is also a yang quality. We can only give so much before we are depleted physically and emotionally and spiritually. This is what happened to me. Do we value just BEING? Do we value introspection, intuitiveness, restfulness, and being in the present? Do we value being receptive to the gifts and help that is there for us? I had lost sight of it and now I'm working on restoring it in my own life. I had focused so much on giving and getting everything done and everyone in order that my own wisdom and intuition was going dark, like when the bad guy kills the moon spirit.
Anyway, just some thoughts. Eastern paradigms are amazing. So are Western. Eastern = yin. Western = yang. Both compliments to the same whole. I'm glad my insomnia seems to be clearing and I am finally able to journey inward and love myself and be receptive and still.
If you're interested, this is where I'm getting acupuncture: http://www.slcqi.com/
I have a small background in Chinese medicine from taking acupressure and Shiatsu in massage school. Not my favorite classes, but I really enjoyed the Eastern paradigms. I knew that everyone has both yin (the feminine) and yang (the masculine) energy. I knew that in Eastern medicine, when qi (or chi, which means life energy) is out of balance, physical symptoms appear. I knew that there are energetic channels through the body that run through specific organs and correlate to both an emotional component and a component of nature in the earth. I didn't connect too well with this paradigm because it isn't as concrete as the Western paradigm of physiology and hard measurable science. As I went to acupuncture I was seriously blown away with how much the practitioner picked up on and how thorough our consult was. At the doctor's office, she asked me about my stress level and my general health and concluded that I would take some prescriptions and if that didn't help, research showed that cognitive behavioral therapy might help. It was all very evidence-based practice. Don't get me wrong. That absolutely has a time and a place. If I had a premie baby, I would definitely want a physician with evidence-based practice or if I was getting invasive surgery... But since no one could figure out what was wrong with me, I was desperate to try anything.
During the consult he asked me thorough questions about my health in the last year. Did I generally run hot or cold? Did I feel tired through the day but wired at the same time? How has nursing been? What is my schedule like? How was my pregnancy and delivery? He then pointed out that it sounded like my yin energy was deficient. Yin is the compliment to yang that is all about resting, dark, cold, intuitive, night time, moon, flowing, inward, etc. After a year of pregnancy, delivery and baby, my yin energy was depleted. I was in a constant state of vigilance with nursing, being up all night, organizing my life with work and Justin's crazy schedule, trying to keep our lives together, that I hadn't spent any time nourishing the part of me that needs to rest. In Western terms, basically my adrenal glands were shot and anxiety had taken over so that my parasympathetic system was not working as it should. So at night, instead of calming my mind and resting, all I could do was lie there as my cortisol and epinephrine levels weren't regulating correctly. So for the past 3 days I have focused all my energy on nourishing myself to replenish the yin that is deficient. I believe that by doing this, my hormones will balance themselves out.
For anyone that still doesn't understand... yin energy is an essential part of your life. You spend most of the day exuding yang. You work, organize, clean, basically.... DO things. You rise with the sun (also a yang component of nature) and work/play all day. But during the day and night your body needs to rest, reflect, meditate, etc. It's both a physiological and emotional need. I had not nourished that side of me. As a result, my yang energy was normal but yin was depleted. The physical symptoms were manifesting as being too hot all the time (very unusual for me), having hot flashes, feeling the constant need to plan, make lists, do things, having a racing mind, and the inability to relax and sleep, even with powerful medications. Three days ago I decided to remedy this. I have been resting. I watched Avatar the last Airbender (because the Eastern paradigm is speaking loudly to me at this time), wrote, read, reflected, meditated, tried to nap, etc. I have also been consuming yin foods. This means foods that are super nourishing, moisture dense, high in calories, etc. (Foods like bananas, avocados, tofu, miso, potatoes, blackberries, sesame seeds, etc) I'm limiting how much I actually DO and have been trying to just BE. It's been an amazing shift. The more I slow down, the more tired and less wired I feel. And, magically, I have began to sleep. The first night, 10 hours, the second, 8 hours. I took Unisom, which I took last week without results, and this time it worked. I'm beginning to sleep. It's been amazing.
The point behind this post is my journey in finding healing. The other is me sharing my successful experience with a holistic approach. Would it work for everyone? Probably not. But it's just another thing to think about. When your body is out of balance and you are searching for answers, sometimes it's not about a cure-all drug from a doctor. (And sometimes it is.) Sometimes it's a journey to find what works best for you. The acupuncture has been really transformative for me. Not just because it's helping my insomnia. But because it has changed the way I think day-to-day about my life and health. Balance in all things. Yin and yang. I need to laugh and cry. To work and rest. To do and be. Right now I'm focusing on the being. So if you come over, just know my house isn't very pretty right now and the projects are on hold. We are in a state of reflection, meditation, an inward journey. There was a great episode in Avatar the last Airbender about this. (Yes, I watch anime. It's amazing and you should watch it too.) The bad guy finds the spirits of the moon and ocean. They represent yin and yang. The moon pulls the tide of the ocean so there is a push/pull relationship. The Avatar tries to save the spirit but the bad guy kills the moon spirit and everything goes dark and out of balance. The moon spirit is saved in the end, but it made me think about my own balance in life. We so much value accomplishment and success. Of course there is a time for it. We also feel like we must give and give and give. This is also a yang quality. We can only give so much before we are depleted physically and emotionally and spiritually. This is what happened to me. Do we value just BEING? Do we value introspection, intuitiveness, restfulness, and being in the present? Do we value being receptive to the gifts and help that is there for us? I had lost sight of it and now I'm working on restoring it in my own life. I had focused so much on giving and getting everything done and everyone in order that my own wisdom and intuition was going dark, like when the bad guy kills the moon spirit.
Anyway, just some thoughts. Eastern paradigms are amazing. So are Western. Eastern = yin. Western = yang. Both compliments to the same whole. I'm glad my insomnia seems to be clearing and I am finally able to journey inward and love myself and be receptive and still.
If you're interested, this is where I'm getting acupuncture: http://www.slcqi.com/
1 comment:
I did acupuncture in high school for my back & loved it. I think Evan should do acupuncture for his migrains too. I really believe in eastern medicine & philosophy especially after living in China and such. I love that you are sleeping again. So important. I have to say, this first year of Ritchie's life has put you thru a lot of challenges. Way to hang in and grow thru it.
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